Here is a small thing that changes everything about online dating, and almost nobody gets it right at the start.
The first message you send decides most of it. Not your photos, not how long you spent on your profile. That one message, usually thirty words or fewer, is what somebody reads while deciding whether you are worth a reply.
Most people send something that guarantees they won't get one.
"Hey." "Hi how are you." "You're gorgeous."
Not because they're rude. Because they're addressed to nobody. Somebody receiving that message can tell it went to fifteen other people, and answering it means starting a conversation entirely from scratch while you sit back and wait to see if it's worth your time.
The same goes for the compliment-only opener. It reads as though you looked at one photo and nothing else, and it puts the person in the awkward position of thanking a stranger.
One specific thing from their profile, and a question they can answer easily.
That's the whole trick. "You mentioned you've just moved to Halifax, how are you finding it?" takes fifteen seconds to write and it does three things at once: it proves you read what they wrote, it gives them something easy to reply to, and it starts an actual conversation rather than a formal introduction.
Ask about the thing that's slightly unusual. If someone lists six interests, ask about the fifth one. Everyone asks about the first.
And keep it short. A long opening message puts pressure on the reply, and people put off replying to things that feel like work. Two or three sentences is plenty.
Send more of them.
Online dating has a low reply rate for everyone, on every site, and it is not personal. People join, get busy, forget, come back three months later. A message going unanswered usually means nothing at all about you.
The members here who do well aren't the most striking or the wittiest. They're the ones who send five or six good messages a week instead of agonizing over one, and who don't take silence to heart.
Not the narrow crowd people expect.
Members across every province, with every kind of condition, and every attitude towards having one. A good number who'd never describe themselves as disabled and are here because the site is straightforward. And a substantial group with no disability at all, who joined for the simple reason that they're open to meeting someone they like.
That last group surprises new members more than anything else about the place.
You can search close to home, which matters more than it sounds.
A first meeting that takes ninety minutes to reach is a big investment in a stranger, and a bigger one for some people than others. Searching your own city or province means the first coffee is a small thing rather than an expedition, and small first meetings are the ones that actually happen.
Have a look at who's nearby in your province before you decide anything.
The second message matters nearly as much and gets far less thought.
Answer the question they asked, then ask another one. That's it. Conversations die when one person keeps serving and the other keeps returning, so give them something back each time rather than just responding.
Match their length, roughly. If they wrote two lines, two lines is right. Replying to two lines with six paragraphs is intense, and replying to six paragraphs with "haha yeah" tells them you're not that interested.
And move it along. After a handful of messages you either want to meet this person or you don't, and staying in the inbox for a fortnight is how promising conversations quietly end.
It's free to join and free to browse. If you'd like the specifics first, there are pages for Deaf and hard of hearing members and for amputees and people with limb difference, and the common questions cover most of what people ask.
One good message is all it takes to start. Join free and send it.